The former White House intern discusses ongoing trauma and public scrutiny in a recent podcast episode
In a deeply personal interview, Monica Lewinsky recently opened up about the lasting impact of her involvement in the scandal with former President Bill Clinton, admitting that she continues to grapple with significant fear nearly three decades later.
Speaking with actress and activist Jameela Jamil on her podcast “Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky,” the anti-bullying advocate reflected on how the intense public backlash from the 1990s still affects her daily life. Jamil inquired about Lewinsky’s current state of mind, given the years of harsh judgment regarding her personal life, identity, and even her looks.
Lewinsky explained that she’s made progress in building self-confidence over time. “I’ve reached a point where I feel more at ease with who I am,” she shared, noting that positive interactions with others help her heal from past wounds. “Each time I can show my true self and get that affirmed back, it feels like I’m letting go of some of that old trauma.”
However, Jamil highlighted a key difference between then and now: back in the late ’90s, Lewinsky had no platform to counter the narrative or defend herself. Today, social media and other outlets allow for quick responses, but Lewinsky confessed she doesn’t always take advantage of them due to lingering anxiety.
“Absolutely, but I don’t always speak out,” Lewinsky said. “Fear is still a big part of my life… It might seem irrational, but I worry that something catastrophic could happen, and all the progress I’ve made in the past 11 years—it’s getting me choked up—could vanish. I might end up without direction or even financial stability.”
The scandal, which unfolded when Lewinsky was a young intern at the White House, involved an affair with President Clinton that led to his impeachment in 1998. The ensuing media frenzy turned Lewinsky into a symbol of public humiliation, with jokes and criticism following her for years.
Lewinsky emphasized the challenge of moving forward while carrying the weight of those experiences. “It’s about focusing on the present rather than the past,” she told Jamil, drawing parallels to the actress’s own struggles with suicidal thoughts amid public backlash.
Jamil empathized, describing how a worldwide wave of criticism once pushed her to the brink. “That kind of massive shaming drove me to suicidal ideation. It’s overwhelming… I lost so much temporarily, though not on the same level as what you endured.”
In the years since, Lewinsky has transformed her pain into purpose, becoming a prominent voice against bullying and online harassment. She often speaks on the long-term effects of public shaming and how it has shaped her journey toward resilience.